Things I argue with Will about
I have regular arguments with Will in the office. I decided to write a diary of these for your enjoyment.
Fri Nov 25
Jesus used to take cocaine.
Jesus is not God.
\"Thau shalt not worship false idols\" only applies to idols made before the commandment was made.
Fri Nov 18
Whether I said it was all people who had snorted cokaine were tossers or people who do so currently.
Whether Fruli is a ladie's drink and should be served in half pints.
Wed Nov 16
Whether Girls Aloud are not tragic and have talent
Mon Nov 14
Reasons for my not turning up to his party.
Fri Nov 11
Whether all Will's mates are coke taking tossers.
Generally argument free due to it being his Birthday.
Thu Nov 10
Whether Will enjoying being nasty to people makes him a "not very nice person".
Tue Nov 8
Whether The Streets are a a bunch of talentless chavs.
What does "That phone has iTunes in it" mean.
Mon Nov 7
Who Doug left in charge.
The existence of a mysterious strategy meeting at 9 this morning.
If I should go on a TV series exploring and ridiculing people with my condition (nerdyness) in front of a national audience.
Fri Nov 4
Whether "Report to Will" means "Listen to Will going on about how he is your boss and how he is gonna fire you all the time".
Who Doug left in charge.
Thu Nov 3
If "Biannual" means once every 2 years or 2 times a year.
If £18 for a a six pack of beer was a good choice.
After the Christmas meal whether we should go for a drink at Bluu (prerequisite of which is the purchase of between 200 to 400 pounds worth of clothing).
Wed Nov 2
A fruit juice which claims to "never" use concentrates tastes a lot better than one which does "not" use concentrates.
You cannot live in clothing which has not been tailored.
Why Will can't get the sound to work on his GIF files.
Tue Nov 1
Organic foods cost only a little more than normal ones. Will insists it is less than 40% more. The real figure was revealed to be around 150% more.
Fri Oct 28
No it is not a shirt. It isn't a jumper. It's a Shirt-Jumper. And it was a bargin at an undisclosed price of more than my cloathes budget for the last 7 years. But it is both a shirt and a jumper for the price of one!
Wed Oct 26
The only way to get rid of a slight smell of cigarettes in a suit is to have the whole thing dry cleaned.
A "half latch" is not a "half latch" but in fact everyone calls it a WCHB ("Weakly Conditioned Half Buffer").
Tue Oct 25
A glass of champagne, a crappy meal and an opportunity to purchase £10 cocktails along with a load of cocaine snorting arseholes is worth the £65 entry price.
The worth of a glass of champagne (apparently at least 10 pounds a flute).
Champagne costs £50 a bottle (despite being shown the same bottle for £20)